Observation 166

The older I get the more I come to terms with the concept of time. I recall being 14 and sitting in a class room, Which I was supposed to be learning math but couldn’t for the life of me focus on anything other than HOW SLOWWWWWWW…TIME….WAS…Going…

Yet I look at my days now and I feel time moving fast. Hell I blinked it was February now I blink again and we are in April. The older I get the faster it goes and it makes for a very clear understanding of what IS important and what Isn’t.

It helps put me into a state of mind to make sure I am happy, healthy….ish, and over all in a positive state of mind. I find it sort of funny because in a day I notice so many negative points. Spending money…NEGATIVE…making money… POSITIVE.. sitting around…negative… going food shopping…Positive.. I think you get the point.

 

Observation 165

So I have spent the last week on vacation. It was the first time in over a year that I sat around my new apartment and did nothing BUT…

Catch up on reading comics, Play some Video games with the girlfriend, watched a couple of movies, Read Ready Player One for the Fourth Time.. and took a couple of baths because I love having a bathtub..

Now today is only Sunday and I still have all of tomorrow off and of course I am still spending a great of my time reading comics.. still have a big list to go over..

(Currently still reading)

(Half is what I managed to read during the week)

So far I feel the most REVITALIZED “If that’s a word”, I have felt in along time. So that pretty much Highlights my current state of mind. I am feeling very creative again and hopefully this will translate into Maybe be doing some artwork “which I haven’t done in years”.. Without question some more writing “Duh you are reading it now”… and a better state of mind for work.

Despite what I do for a living I am not really much of a people person. I am very good at my job but again..it’s a job and really I think far to many people think my personality is reflected by it. IT’S NOT! I get paid to be the person I am at work and the person I am outside of work I can say without question is far more reflective than I am allowed to be. That’s not to say I am not a charming person all around but I do feel like it takes a great deal of mental exercise to get past even little things.

Regardless it’s good and I feel better because of it. Currently I am thinking about Spring which is right around the corner. Work will start to pick up as it does after the Winter. I am thinking a great deal about what I want to push more in terms of work and over all relationships with family and friends. I feel like I really need to get back into the gym to pick up my energy. Lots of things I WANT to get going on as soon as .. TOMORROW.. Over all my state of mind is simple.

Observation being.. People need time to themselves. Need time to reboot and assess life. I feel like not enough people get the chance to do that. Weekends are nice or days off for that matter but needing time to really get to WHAT YOU WANT.. is important. I have done that.. some of you should think about doing it.. and that is what I am currently about to do now.. RESTART..

Observation 164

I am a big fan of Horror both in film and novels. I am also a big fan of Video games like Doom, Mortal Kombat, God of War, Hatred, etc.. More Recently “since about 2007 very little dabbling before that” I have even started to collect comic books. I can also say WITHOUT QUESTION I am the least violent person you will ever meet.

My General demeanor around people is often very chill as a matter fact. I love conversation and I am a very welcoming person to talk with. My taste into violent and morbid things really has NOTHING to do with my actions towards people and more to do with the why.  I have always been the type of person who looks scary but upon talking to me you learn very quickly I am a giant Jiggly puff!

Now I bring all this up because I grew up during the 90’s and that was a time of great debate on Media. All things I enjoy became this hub for how or can it effect ME as a growing young person. Would all that violence turn me into a violent person? Truth be told I grew up in Brooklyn, NY and I have always managed to avoid violence. If I am being really truthful with myself I probably feel more violent towards adults my age now than I ever felt as a young person but I can tell you that is because I don’t understand how adults MY AGE.. think as oppose to anything violent I watched ” I have yet to kill anyone or hurt anyone with violence still” .

As a matter a fact I will go even further with that and say as a person who has been put into many situations I COULDN’T GRASP or Understand. I do believe that playing a few rounds of Doom probably kept me from pulling my own hair out.  Why? The escape and my own grasp on reality is the answer. I have always known that we have two very different types of actions in life. The enjoyment of FICTION and the actions of REALITY are different things. APPLES…AND ORANGES.. both food.. but not the same..

Again I surround myself with this morbid stuff. Have I ever in the past hurt myself or anyone? That is a big 100% NO. Hell do I even have a grasp on real violence in the world? The best answer I can give to that is that ONCE I went shooting with my brother “at a shooting range” and even after all the times I fired a weapon in a video game I can say shooting a weapon in real life.. VERY VERY VERY DIFFERENT! NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE SAME!

It’s sort of like saying I built a house in the sims so I can build a house in REAL LIFE.. YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR SKULL TO THINK THAT TRUE! The fact that we are ONCE AGAIN .. in 2018 going to get back into this debate is insane. I would also like to be very clear about something while on the topic of weapons.

I DO believe people should be allowed to own whatever you want. Be it a home full of weapons, cats, dogs, dildos…Whatever! If you are in the UNITED STATE OF AMERICA you have the freedom to do that.  However I think if you are saying you are following the 2nd amendment as an excuse for WHY you have that weapon. YOU ARE DELUSIONAL and here is why.

If you really believe that owning a machine gun, or let’s REALLY PUSH IT..  A rocket launcher.. or lets say the town you live in has every home FULL of GUNS from block to block. You are Delusional to think that you can stop the united state Government from taking that stuff away from you. We are talking about the United State Government here.. The Police, Fire Department, Military and whatever number of branches below that.  If you seriously think you could stop all of that with the 100 guns you have..

Billions of dollars are given to support our troops. Billions in research on making bigger better ways of making it work and you seriously think that having a gun will stop all that? I have a unicorn in my kitchen right now that can take you on a ride if you want to believe it. People need to get a grip on themselves.

Now that again isn’t to say you shouldn’t own a gun. YOU SHOULD.. Protect yourself from Crime. Good on you but do not think for a second that you can ever hold the 2nd amendment up and say my four fathers wanted me to protect myself from Government because that idea has been lost a long time ago once we started organized groups that Government gets paid for BY YOU to deal with.

This all hurts my head to think about…puff

Observation 163

So a great deal has happened in the last two weeks that really I probably should explain. First off I wasn’t 100% sure I was moving till 2 weeks ago. I didn’t post anything or say anything to anyone about it because I simply don’t do that sort of thing unless I am 100%. I only signed the lease and what not last week so everything happened quickly. I have been working my ass off and short of packing everything it’s been hectic.

I had taxes to think about which are done, moving, work, and currently thinking about this site which has now become very SIMPLE… and easy to understand I can say with a full heart I am happy with everything. I will also note that the weather hasn’t made anything easy. Everything is covered in ICE Right now.. For a guy who walks all over the place it is good and it sucks at the same time.

So having a calm mind to write is only now becoming a thing.  With the move and the start of the new year I have been thinking about the future. I think it’s something I normally start doing in November of every year. This year in particular some lights have been turned on in my mind which will require big steps. Life changing steps perhaps and I think I am finally in a place to make most of it all happen.

As a person who over thinks naturally thoughts like this come and go but I feel like since I am about to be 35 this year and they say your life changes every 7 years..

7..14..21..28..35… I do believe that a great many things should happen.  I won’t say I am pushing for anything but I will say that concepts in my head are being designed. Perhaps lots of brainstorming… thoughts…. we will see how it all goes!

Observation 162

Recently I have come to some interesting conclusions/Observations about my life. Currently at only the young age of 34 I am starting to notice a few things are happening that I either NEVER noticed.. or just didn’t observe.

From a very real human look at myself in the mirror I can see for the first time signs of aging. Now I am sure that statement alone raises some questions on WHAT… you never noticed that? Of course I noticed it before but NOW as opposed to before I notice things happening on the older state of my life. Gray hair, Wrinkles, can’t eat this…can’t eat that.. Little things that show a lack of youth and perhaps a bit of break down as aging does.

Now by no means do I believe I am old. Hell I’ll be 80 and I won’t believe I am old but I do notice that things I could get away before I can’t now. I could at the age of 17 eat 3 gallons of Ice cream a day and not gain weight.. Today I look at Ice cream and add 5 pounds.  I notice my moods are far better today as opposed to 17 but that doesn’t come without the fact that I do DWELL on things more now. Which means I have to make a conscious decision to raise my moods.

Now I have always been good at keeping myself in those spaces. I surround myself with good. My girlfriend, my family, my friends and my heart is always in the right place. I do my best at everything and I never once have ever put myself into a position that I didn’t control or overthink. It’s simply always been my nature.

Yet with coming back to aging I notice that if I don’t workout or if I don’t stay active for long periods of time it does effect my mood in a negative state. So I go to the gym.. Not as much as I would like but I go to raise my mood and I go to try to maintain my health which at this point I can honestly say I am as healthy as I can be.

My state of mind on everything is always about Progress. I have done well at work, tried my best to keep relationships even, and for the most part have very little to complain about. During the winter I sleep more just like everyone but I also fight the good fight with the punches as they approach.

I look forward to the future and at this point I know great changes are coming. Dusk.. and it’s embrace!

Observation 161

You know that part of the film that shows the monsters have been destroyed and all is at peace for a small time. That’s what right now feels like. This has been a battle and while it’s not even close to over I do finally feel some hope because one year is done.one year that I feel people have started to look around and see what actions mean something.

We far from over but I feel like people are paying attention to the things that do require attention. Human nature is to benefit only the one which is a selfish need. If eyes are open we think as a group. The result is more constructive and the truth shinnes with fact checks.

Alittle hope goes a longer way around…

Observation 160

I am not even sure how to start this. My mind right now is focused on Education. The Class room more specifically in terms of how it works.  You take an average size of 15 – 25 students, put them in a room and ask some questions about a specific topic. The focus of the room should be rotated around FACTS and Theory.

It requires detailed reason for the main question of WHY? Why is the sky blue? What are we made of? How do you pronounce this? Again…all the FACTS. Explanations for questions that WILL and or CAN come up during the experience of life.

Now my real question here is why a common sense class doesn’t come into the planning of any persons life? I mean teaching people basic things I feel would help benefit everyone. What do I think people should know?

*Organization – being able to deal with one problem at a time in an organized and Prioritized way. Example.. To get a job you need to take the following steps.. A. Have a Resume B. Present yourself well C. Be on time D. Understand what you are signing up for.

Again…basic stuff.

*Basic Survival – How to make basic food, “Cereal, Eggs, Canned Soup, sandwiches” How to use a Gas Pump, How Credit Cards and Currency works, Basic Hygiene, Methods on dealing with Stress, Bills and Taxes “not so much economy but basic stuff like paying Rent, water/electric bills how to sign a check and understanding what is being paid for.”

*How to hold a conversation – Now this ranges in a few different ways but a person should be capable to walk out of school and at the very least BE SMART ENOUGH TO ORDER SOMETHING FROM A FAST FOOD CHAIN WITHOUT HOLDING UP A LINE.

*BASIC LAW – I see this come up a great deal in just every day living. Google is not A FRIEND of TRUE FACT AND WRITTEN LAW. Lots of bullshit out and about and I feel people NEED TO READ THE ACTUAL DOCUMENTS on it.. at the very basic level of .. DON’T STEAL SHIT, DON’T HIT PEOPLE, AND DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE …hehe

Health and Education is an odd thing because some places get it right. While others miss entire large sections of what is true and isn’t. TRUE = FACT = PROVEN TO BE UNDENIABLE…without the shadow of a doubt… again…

 

Maybe it’s just me

 

Observation 159

A big part of me wants to jump off social media. The main reason I keep my Facebook page is cause it gives me access to family I don’t normally get to chit chat with. Honestly I get more out of twitter in terms of news and access to announcements on bands/comics/things I like on that platform. However everything is connected to Facebook so for that reason alone I suppose myself and really others must have one.

I often think about what my life would be like without that nonsense. Would it really change that much? I mean THIS website is way more about me anyway and if anyone wanted to contact me here it wouldn’t be so difficult. Hell the e-mail address is on the TOP of this page. I don’t even know if people know how to e-mail anymore…

Plus I have a million other ways to access people thru Skype, Discord, SL, Steam Chat, Twitter chat “yes that is a thing”, etc… I just don’t see the reason to keep FACEBOOK up.. something about it ..really just annoys the shit out of me.. hmmm…this might lend to something?…mmm

Observation 158

Coming home from this trip I feel I have a confirmation on life that I had always known. It’s been agreed by myself and others in my family that everyone should take the trip to India just to see how different things are. A grown appreciation for the lifestyle choices we are allowed here comes to mind. No one to force anyone to do anything here is a big accomplishment on the part of the USA.

The Facts are all spread out over large bodies of Oceans and I think as an Observer of everything around me the experience was nothing but beneficial to my part. We complain a great deal in this country about things that we shouldn’t. We become very selfish and that is not a given RIGHT but a RIGHT based on location. We are lucky to be born Americans as we are.

I have always known the wrong ways to do things and never questioned why we have the rules/laws in place that we do. We are policed because of our freedom and that is something at times  I think we get carried away from. Complain by all means..THAT IS YOUR FREEDOM!

By getting angry about something it sheds a light on what we should change. If felt by enough people we have a system that will allow for everyone to compromise and discuss what is and is not. I was Cynical before and I am sure as shit going to be worse now with it.

Yet I find it goes both ways. How are you going to complain about the price of gas in a situational world that some people don’t even have the money to own a car. BECAUSE YOU CAN. How are you going to say the traffic was horrendous this morning when in some places it’s worse. BECAUSE YOU CAN. Complain about the IPHONE, the bottled water, the video games, music and movies..YOU CAN…

 

Observation 157

Communication I have always believed is the one vital point to creating a better relationship with anyone or anything for that matter. While personality is what makes a person different, conversations about who,why, and how are always the solution to finding what makes us the same. One of the greatest parts of being born in Brooklyn, N.Y. was the diversity.

A person could walk down one block and see a completely different set of families living life with it’s culture, religious belief, and so on. This created a mixing pot for pretty much everyone. The more people that arrived the more everyone was able to learn. However this didn’t work so well because like everything disagreements would rise.

An educated person can talk to one another without violence. An educated person can also say “I don’t agree” and walk away without feeling any internal or moral harm. What I have learned being here on this trip to India is that communication is a VITAL part of what makes everything work.

You have communities here built on family ideas that one person is going to know more about a subject than another person based on interest. So let’s say I have a bigger interest in cars. I would spread that information to the next person I met and if the time came that the next person had an issue with cars…guess who they would come too? ME!

It’s a spread of knowledge and interest that makes it all work. Business relationships are built on that aspect as well. Loyal customers come from the bases that the products they produce are good and work for whatever the need. So again if I produce something good or great for that matter naturally I will spread word in my community and that works.

One of the biggest problems I think that have been highlighted is advertisements. Of course advertisements are used here as well but what will brings anyone to anything here is word of mouth. I had the best Ice Cream I have ever had here. Hearing that from someone who knows good and bad Ice Cream will quickly best a person to interest. “ALSO I REALLY DID HAVE THE BEST ICE CREAM HERE! x)”

As Americans we are free to do as we please and for the most part I feel like we focus on the wrong things. We avoid conflicts which creates drama which in the end causes more problems. Anything built up in such a way is always negative and can eventually consume a person to the point of irrational action.

We are short tempered and in such a hurry to do nothing that we over see it all the time. We make appointments and don’t plan well so we get angry should we miss it. I am finding it more and more interesting how we take things that aren’t really that important and force it all to be in the category of OMG IT NEEDS TO BE DONE RIGHT NOW!!

Personally I have always wanted peace of mind. I have always faced my problems without a care for how long something took to get it done. I was rational about it and calm. Some people live for that drama and think it makes life more interesting. However the same people are never happy and always have complaints that make ZERO SENSE TO ME.

I think this is a subject that can be dived into more at a later time. 🙂