Observation 182

Had a very good weekend. Celebrated my Elder Nephews 16th Birthday at my parents house. It was nice and everyone got along well, my CJ enjoyed it as best as I think he could. Followed that night with spending a great deal of time with my sister, cousin, his wife, and my aunt. It all worked out really well and YESTERDAY.. I was super tired to the point that I slept a majority of the day.

Today I woke up at like.. between 4 or 5 a.m.. Trying to prepare my body for going back to work tonight. I managed to setup a interesting routine in which I go to work, Come home and play a few rounds of Mortal Kombat 11. I am finding it calms my mind down but I think I am going to start to add gym into this routine now.

I have been using this new app on my new Phone.. called
https://www.myfitnesspal.com/ and I was using it on my old phone but it works better now.. Since.. May.. and I have actually lost a ton of weight. I just wanted to get my diet corrected before I started to focus on the gym which I am going to start to do I think this week. God knows I have been paying for the gym membership for awhile and not going so…yea.. KINDA A WASTE…!!

So that’s my second goal for this year. The writing has slowly gotten better and I am trying to focus more on writing this book I keep saying I AM GOING TO DO.. Which I haven’t.. but we will see.. To many things are distracting me..Work has been picking up which is good..and bad.. Good in that we are making some serious changes in sales that are working well with what we have. Bad in that I have a great deal of pushing to do and perhaps the gym Idea is really going to help me Focus more.

MANNNNN…this was Random.. but yea.. Doing great so far.. happy with the first month of being 36.. Progress!

Observation 181

Fuck I thought I would be at 200 by now but I haven’t been able to focus the way I thought I would. To much happening all to fast but at least now I finally have a second to reflect.

The last couple of weekends I have been able to spend a great deal of time with family. My siblings went to the Coney Island Wu tang show and it was probably the best time I have had in a long long time. I have noticed I don’t show much emotion at those things. I kinda just take in the moments and really it reflects more as observer more than anything. I am not much a dancer and I am horrible at remembering lyrics until I hear the songs beats.

Regardless it was a great time and I think I needed it more than anything I can come to think of this entire year. The following weekend I went back to Coney again with my sister and my two nephews. It was also a great time and I managed to get a good sun burn on my face because of it. It’s already held so I guess it wasn’t so bad…hehe..

Work has doubled as it does every summer and people are out and about more. The heat has just barely started to rise and with it as it always does every summer people get crazy. I am trying very hard the last couple of nights to not scream at people. Right now I am thinking how the hell do I hold my patients with people? How do I not say “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!?”… No some how I just do my job.. I smile and I come home and write in this place.

This has become my space for venting and just random thoughts. I can’t even say how many times I have attempted to write a book or books.. but never finish.. But I think I got a good idea this time for a book.. and I might actually do it this time. It keeps me at peace thinking that I might do it. Another year and this time I am 36 years old now. What comes next?

I know at this point all the rules and how the world works. I know what I can push myself to do. I just have to keep pushing and hoping that the best stuff is still to come. It’s not easy but we all continue to try.

Observation 180

If you had a chance to sit down and talk to the person whom stood in your skin about 20 years ago what would you say? Hell what would that situation be like at all? Would it be like looking in a mirror or would it be like looking at someone you have never meet?

In less than 24 hours I will be 36 years old. In less than a month I will have worked my current job for 10 straight years. It will have been exactly 6 months and 9 years that I have been with my Megan. I will have completed just short of 20 post till 200 on this site and my state of mind is and will continue to be at it’s best place in all that. I can say that I am in complete control of my destiny and the fates that be. I can say that everything that has come before me has been my doing and NO ONE else.

Life has it’s ups and it’s downs without a question. Since birth I have had to deal with struggling just to breath. I KNOW the importance of fighting to get what you want and fighting just struggle for comfort. I have tried very hard to get to the place I am at and the only question I have now is.. What to do next? I have options and places I want to go..with time I will get to that.

My work is far from done and while I remain in a place I am comfortable with I am also left with wonder like everyone else. What ..comes next? WHO’S NEXT?..WHAT’S NEXT?.. possibility is great and terrifying.. I look forward to that much.

Observation 179

Not often do I come home from work with an idea of what I am going to write about. This morning I felt the need to express some thoughts. In just under 10 days from now I will be 36 years old. Already I have plans to make to trips to Coney Island. The first trip will be with my older siblings. The Second also with my older siblings but likely with more Family than that. I am looking forward to both trips.

Hopefully the weather holds up and we don’t get to much rain. Honestly even if it does rain I will likely be making the trips anyway cause the trips have a meaning to me. Something deep and something I feel I need to do. I don’t often get these feelings about my family members in truth I think I take for granted most of the time how important they are. We have always been close even with distance being an element to our relationships. I have always felt connected to my family.

This includes cousins, parents, aunts, uncles, sister in-laws, and brother in-laws… so on. While my communication with some hasn’t been the best I still feel a measure of care involved in the element of blood and perhaps elements of care just being involved with my life. The involvement part has always been the tricky part to me. Finding time to do these things becomes thoughtless and more emotionally connected to my state of mind.

I feel like I have to do things but even with that I CHOOSE to keep this stuff as apart of my life as I NEED it to be. We all choose to be who we are and with that I put a great deal of thought into how the stars a line if that makes any sense. On some levels I find it to be even a spiritual calling of events that need to take place for me.

I have always had a good vision of the path ahead of me and what my actions will or will not involve with people in my life. I have always been logical with those feelings and with that also a sense of care not so much responsibility. I don’t feel responsible for anything or anyone other than myself. I care about the people in my life and I want them to be in the parts I have been lucky enough to be born into. I have a great family and I know how lucky I am to have them.

Observation 178

Recently I have noticed a true wave of either ignorance or a just lack of common sense from my local Community. I have to wonder if this is just me and my getting older/point of view or if it’s perhaps something in the water? Cause of the rise of temperature I have a feeling that the people will start to behave for lack of a better way of saying ” Goofy”.

Now don’t get me wrong “Goofy” in the context I use it is often a good thing. Yet we aren’t talking about that definition of the word. No we are talking people being overly sensitive about Nonsense, Often Aggressive, and sometime even Violent. From my observations of behavior and well common knowledge once the temperatures rise people start to think a different way.

Now my thoughts on how this works is kinda funny to me. People are dying to go outside during the winter months but because it’s too cold they often don’t. So once the chance comes you would think they would be happy with that burst of energy. However I have come to find that burst of energy often becomes destructive.

I personally think it might be because everyone thinks “OMG IT’S GOOD WEATHER I NEED TO ENJOY THIS RIGHT NOW AND NOTHING CAN GET IN MY WAY” …As if the focus of limited time comes to play. Patience is just a thing of the past I suppose. The thought process becomes GET TO POINT B from point B WITH NOTHING TO STOP ME NOW!

It’s strange like we aren’t going to see another good day for the rest of our lives? A Great and common example of this that I deal with daily is the shopping experience. People wait inline to buy whatever but if it’s not done quickly it becomes a reason for people to just lash out. Like someone is pulling em back perhaps?

It’s a strange state to be in but people have become very impractical about things that to me make ZERO SENSE. Why would you get mad that you have to wait to buy FREAKING ICE CREAM!!!? IT’S ICE CREAM…it’s going one of two places and fast.. Your face or a freezer!

It must be me but I have noticed this is a thing that just keeps coming up and it doesn’t have an age range either. I have seen young and old alike get like this and I don’t understand the reason.

observation 177

Today I received my new keyboard which my girlfriend bought me! In an effort to do more writing I am hoping this will promote more of these at a regular/semi regular basis. Recently I have been attempting to catch up on some cataloging of some of my possessions. Comic books, Mortal Kombat stuff, just things around that house I want to keep a record of just to help me sleep.

I tend to over think everything so being safe about pretty much everything I do kinda is my thing. Tomorrow I will be having my landlord come over for a home inspection. They check to make sure our fire equipment is up to date, make sure nothing is out of order and so on. Sign a new Lease for another year and do all that “Adulting” stuff that needs to be done.

Really the months are flying by pretty fast and as I have said in the past the older I get the faster it seems to go. I often have to think about what my life will be like in another 20 years if it will just go by like seconds. Perhaps having children will make it slow down but somehow I think I am kidding myself if that’s really the truth to it all. I think having to be so busy will just make it all go by far faster… but who knows.. we will see once I get to that point.

Right now the weather is cold but I think it’s about to get much warmer very soon. We had an interesting snow fall weekend and something in my bones tells me it was the last of it. I can’t believe it’s MARCH!!

Observation 176

In the last year or so my mind has changed focus. I am not sure if it was any one thing or just the way events have panned out but I do feel a change. Both menatally and physically overall.

I never gave much thought to my future short of my interest, work, my writing here, and my family/friends. With age comes an interesting prospective on placement in the universe. The feeling of immortality is long gone and I know now that tomorrow will be different.

I find it funny that I write at all. I hated learning it and never showed any interest in reading. Not till my 20s did I start to use the voices in my head to make any of it fun. Now I couldn’t go a week without writing something if it be here or elsewhere.

Time will tell what mark i make but I have to beileve it’s all for something.

Observation 175

About to go on vacation. After a very long past 4 months of dealing with Holidays, work changes, and so on I need to reboot so that’s what I plan to do today. Clear the files in my brain and come in fresh so I am hoping to do more of this and attempt to get myself into a better space.

With the start of the new year I have some goals in mind. 200 is slowly approaching with this page and I think … going to do a dramatic change on the format of my writing. Might even start a Vlog portion just to free style some thoughts out into the world. Which really is what this writing is.. but I think speaking might help on another level. I have plans!

Over all dealing with the cold has me looking at myself, the way my life is going, and it’s helping me think over what type of person I want to be. I am enjoying myself right now and responsibility is just a given. So I love the spot I am at right now. Going to push some creative ideas here and really try to make something fun come out of all this stuff.

Observation 174

End of the year is almost here! I didn’t make it to 200! I did try!! But my mind simply wasn’t in it this year. Been working hard at work and because of that sleeping has become a thing I seem to be doing.  Sundays have been a short time of my week that I can relax. I HAVE started to stream on youtube! Been playing some Tetris Effect, Overwatch, Doom “Of Course!” You can find all that nonsense under the Media tab at the top..or search Kabal610 on Youtube..You can find it!

Most of the streams Feature myself.. My brother “Shawn”.. my cousin ” Chris” my besty “Ian”..and from time to time other co workers and naturally my girlfriend “Megan”.. It’s what I do to relax.. I did buy a Nintendo Switch recently also and it’s fun!! Naturally I have Doom on it and it amazes me how good it runs! Perfect so far.. but I will write more about that on my games page when I get the chance.. Currently I am playing Darksiders 3, Smash Brother Ultimate, and a few other games also.. but that’s in-between time ..

I have come to the conclusion that I need to find more time to relax.. NOT SLEEP… but actually relax my mind from everything going on around me.  So naturally I fall back into video games and reading comics which I am forcing myself to do now. I haven’t been hitting the gym much… I SHOULD BE ..AND PLAN TO GET BACK ON THAT.. but with it being December..and cold…and yea….laziness….bad…blah…

I haven’t spoken much about my personal life on here in awhile which is kinda funny cause this is all supposed to be an OBSERVATIONAL blog/thing… Life has been for the most part a steady line. Not great..not bad.. but steady.. I got most of my Christmas shopping done..and for the most part have been in a decent head space I guess.. This really isn’t much of a post at this point …just trying to filter out …where I am?

 

 

Observation 173

Politics is very much like Religion to me. You don’t talk about it much because everyone has an opinion on any given situation. So naturally I don’t talk much about it. I had a site that I was posting on with my views on it and I stopped because I felt like I was repeating myself and honestly I just didn’t know what to say any more about it.

https://politicsalexander.wordpress.com/

I think the last post on that site was like 3 years ago or something close to that. Regardless I don’t like to post stuff on facebook about it or really anything like that. What I do like to do is examine a situation what it is and come up with information as fact as I SEE it. If I see and can prove without a shadow of a doubt that something happened the way it did I will from time to time comment on it or write about it.  My views are simply my own and I like to think about things as I KNOW IT TO BE TRUE.

So with that being said I have somethings I want to say about a particular topic that really puts to fact most of the 173 post I have on here about my observations. Some notes and comments as it is to think about.

………………

For 172 Observations I have been saying that I think people are getting dumber. That I think we don’t educate ourselves enough. We follow like sheep very easily into information we NEVER fact check. Some of us don’t know how to fact check at all. Some of us simply don’t know how to tell the difference between an OPINION and a Fact. That to sum it up the SOURCE of all our problems is EDUCATION.

We live in a time Full of resources and information. It’s a beautiful thing to have the ability to google. In less then minutes a person can come up with valid facts and proof to make a statement FAST. I loveeeee the internet for that. I love the melting pot of it all as well because it’s forums are a place of pure beauty. You have two sides to the coin and you have lots of shades of gray with it.

When it comes to politics I believe a person shouldn’t be red or blue but gray. I LOVE the concepts of a Republican, I Love the ideas of Democrats. I agree with the arguments because until ACTUAL FACT can be displays we should have an open discussion on what would be the better way. Keywords being BETTER WAY.

If this country is indication of anything it is that we breed smart people and it can vary on many topics.To say that ONE person is the end all be all on anything is not only showing a lack of knowledge but it shows such a limited way of thinking. It’s saying I am better at everything and no one can disprove that ever which is ignorance.

Politics is not and never has been about ONE person. It has always been about the thinking of many people in a system of balanced checks and orders. Our entire way of living is built into a system that supports many opinions….so getting to my point.

I hear people saying that man is the only person qualified to do something I think to myself what world do we live in that ONE person becomes superman? That one person is without question the only person qualified to do something MANY PEOPLE are educated and qualified to do.  It’s a job and it’s about doing it the correct way and not about opinion.

To say only one person can do something is stupid. Any job can be taught and understood by any number of people. NO ONE is the be all end all of anything. While yes we have a range of understanding that goes low to high. We all understand that no one is perfect for something.  Mistakes will be made and that is just how it is.  People make mistakes WE MOVE ON.

Now my biggest problem is not with anyone specific or any party for that matter. If the republicans believe something is RIGHT.. I hope to the gods that They know something I don’t and THEY ARE RIGHT. I can say the same for the democrats. However if you can prove that something isn’t working and you still believe that it is. Clearly being delusional isn’t a good thing. IT WILL LEAD TO PROBLEMS.

No one wants to say I TOLD YOU SO. We get great satisfaction FROM saying it because we know that the path ahead is the correct one and it’s PROVEN. If you have ever had an argument with someone close to you this is something that comes up. I say something is wrong.. you say I am wrong.. we find out I am Right.. and we move on because it’s PROVEN.

It’s fear and lack of knowledge that make people hostel. It’s fear that brings sadness because we are smart and some are dumb to FACTS. I fear a world that says ONE person can only do something that many people are educated to do.