One of the biggest problems I have is overthinking everything. I have always been this way and really till I was about 29 it wasn’t a problem. Sure it would prevent me from doing a list of stupid things that teenagers/young adults do when I was younger yet I did manage to do enough stupid things that I can say those years of exploration were pretty successful in terms of growth. I questioned things and often I did so in a manor that allowed me to experience some great stuff and some not so great stuff.
Currently now in my late 30s I find that in the last 3 years I have found a new level to it and it’s causing some serious issues related to anxiety. A number of things I have learned to prevent it such as changing my diet, planning mental exercises and reviewing my actions in detail “yes often with pen and paper” has helped. From my understanding stress and aging will do that to a person. Now keep in mind I am also the most grounded person I know. I very very rarely drink, still haven’t done any drugs that weren’t given to me by a Doctor “at this point still basically nothing short of breathing meds when I was 9”. Much like a coin it goes both ways thou.
I don’t often read the news “thou because I work in public I have an ear for what is happening around me”. I do my best to keep myself from involving any of my personal issues with others. This year has made me very health paranoid. So every sneeze, cough or muscle pain I freak out over. I completely stopped drinking caffeine as I have learned it makes my mental state horrible. My diet has gotten better but I still fall flat on a number of things that I think I can do better but again.. because of stress I often let that go out the window. I believe I continue to try like everyone around me to fight the battle of life as best I CAN.
I do give myself credit for that much. I am always trying to do better and I have a complete and real awareness that I am not getting any younger. So far my work and FATE has been good to me. I have played the game well enough. Another year is coming and I don’t know what will happen as with every year before it. Just have to roll with the punches and keep the blocks up. Truth to it all is that I CAN look back on the last 37 and half years and say I did my best.. it was great.. and I want to see the next 37 years with just as much hope.
I know now as fact by my actions previously proving that I am smart, capable and undeniably stubborn about what I choose to do with myself. It hasn’t been easy and I never expected it to be. I have made it fun and I want to continue to make it as fun as it can be.
Let’s hope 2021 is better than 2020.