For the last 12 years I have worked the nightshift. It’s changed my entire life in odd ways I didn’t think about before doing it. The 1 am – 3am silence that hush this small New York town feels like a familiar friend. Soon I’ll say good bye and hello to mornings again full of sun light and hotter temperatures. Normal people who go to work rather than drinks and drug addicts,sad and often aggressive.
Next chapter in responsibility but not alone. I’ll have co workers and I can actually see family without being to tired to think of something to say. Part of me is happy the other curious about the changes.
I think it will all be for the best.
I have always liked the idea of a Republican. The concept that someone can work from the bottom build up to the top and trickle the money down based on the hard work put into it. That the money given to the top ideas and hardest workers will show favor to those below to build upon for the better of all. The problem with that all is that humans don’t think this way. People have a habit of making more and wanting more from it.
If I make 13 an hour I can live in a 13 an hour home. If I make 50 the same will follow.
For along time I thought it was greed that caused this to happen and while greed is part of it that isn’t the complete answer in my opinion. Comfort and luxury become an aspect that steps in the picture in a sneaky snarky way. Why walk 10 minutes when you can bike in 5 minute? Why bike when you can drive? Why drive when you can pay someone who knows exactly how to get to your destination better than you and faster?
The same can be applied to everything we do or think we can. Bigger and better is after all the American way!? We need to do everything comfortably, safe and in a mass production. We have been raised to show off our gold even to those with no gold at all. Sure it sounds wrong but it’s also something we have all been raised to believe in. Media has a big part in that sure but even without it as a hunter gather species we are always looking for that comfort. I believe it’s in our nature to do so.
At birth we grow into those instincts for hunger, comfort, and we drive to feed it. I’m not sure what the main purpose is but something about it is comforting. I look around the home I have built for myself and I understand that most of the stuff I spend my time doing is to gather a collection of items I enjoy. I find comfort in it. I enjoy my writing, my comics, my video games, my toys. For me they are memories and just give me a wave of warmth and joy. How much of it builds upon my personality.
It’s silly cause I’m silly and much of it is a reflection on me but one thing I can say for sure about it all is that I’m over all a happy guy. I like what I have and I understand the build for the position of growth. Yet getting back to the main problem I started with. I believe in the structure of a republican but I know it doesn’t work due to the nature of how people are driven.
We want better for our children than we want for ourselves. Same as our parents before us and we struggle with the ups and downs same as those before us. It’s just a master of prospective and what nature sends our way.
The last few days have been a series of events that have gone by very quickly. Maybe it’s just been the beginning of the year or my age getting the best of me but damn I can’t believe how fast this month is already over. Went for my yearly check up and I am pretty tip top so far.
Trying to just get myself all settled into what is to come. Don’t really have any plans for this year but as with everything it will come with it’s highs and lows as life does. Clearly coming up with something to say right now is a bit.. off.. hmmm
Let’s hope for the best!
One of the biggest problems I have is overthinking everything. I have always been this way and really till I was about 29 it wasn’t a problem. Sure it would prevent me from doing a list of stupid things that teenagers/young adults do when I was younger yet I did manage to do enough stupid things that I can say those years of exploration were pretty successful in terms of growth. I questioned things and often I did so in a manor that allowed me to experience some great stuff and some not so great stuff.
Currently now in my late 30s I find that in the last 3 years I have found a new level to it and it’s causing some serious issues related to anxiety. A number of things I have learned to prevent it such as changing my diet, planning mental exercises and reviewing my actions in detail “yes often with pen and paper” has helped. From my understanding stress and aging will do that to a person. Now keep in mind I am also the most grounded person I know. I very very rarely drink, still haven’t done any drugs that weren’t given to me by a Doctor “at this point still basically nothing short of breathing meds when I was 9”. Much like a coin it goes both ways thou.
I don’t often read the news “thou because I work in public I have an ear for what is happening around me”. I do my best to keep myself from involving any of my personal issues with others. This year has made me very health paranoid. So every sneeze, cough or muscle pain I freak out over. I completely stopped drinking caffeine as I have learned it makes my mental state horrible. My diet has gotten better but I still fall flat on a number of things that I think I can do better but again.. because of stress I often let that go out the window. I believe I continue to try like everyone around me to fight the battle of life as best I CAN.
I do give myself credit for that much. I am always trying to do better and I have a complete and real awareness that I am not getting any younger. So far my work and FATE has been good to me. I have played the game well enough. Another year is coming and I don’t know what will happen as with every year before it. Just have to roll with the punches and keep the blocks up. Truth to it all is that I CAN look back on the last 37 and half years and say I did my best.. it was great.. and I want to see the next 37 years with just as much hope.
I know now as fact by my actions previously proving that I am smart, capable and undeniably stubborn about what I choose to do with myself. It hasn’t been easy and I never expected it to be. I have made it fun and I want to continue to make it as fun as it can be.
Let’s hope 2021 is better than 2020.
So as of recently I started some Video Observations which can be found on the Media tabs above /\. I’m okay with the two that I have up so far. Think some more development on my set up needs to be done but over all it’s exactly what I want it to be. Me just speaking my mind about just random stuff. I planned to do another today but because of work I think it will have to wait till either tonight or tomorrow morning.
Thanksgiving was an interesting day this year. It was 100% Digital with the family and if anything a true sign of the times. We are living in the future as far as I can tell. I spent the entire day with my family…without…spending the entire day with them… SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Strange but it turned out great and I am over all happy with how it all went down. Safe, secure, and without any worry. This pandemic really got me thinking about my health and the health of those around me a great deal. I worry more than I know I should it’s just my nature I guess.
In terms of everything else it seems we are back into lockdown mode. My job hasn’t changed much yet but the customers are slowing down as they do this time of year. Not really sure if that is just the time of year or some other source. Probably a combination of both. Over all I have no complaints about it so I guess we will see what happens in the future.
ONE MORE MONTH LEFT FOR THIS YEAR!! LETS HOPE IT’S A GOOD ENDING!
So before I go on here I want to point out a couple of things. First I took off the song of the day tab on this site because it was become far to difficult to keep up with. HOWEVER.. I just started a NEW TAB on the top called THE PROGRESSION OF ALEXANDER. You click that and you can read post about my life. I figured I would add a bit of personal stuff on what I am doing?! Things like Book, Comic book reading, Video games, Movies and YES Music will be added on that! So far it’s only a couple of post.. each is divided by TIMES so yea.. fun fun
On with the show here.. Clearly Winter is coming.. The weather is getting colder the days are getting darker and I think my job is going to change again back to Day shifts. I could be totally wrong as I am not in control of that aspect of what is happening but I just don’t see as many people as we had last year. Business is down for everyone but that doesn’t mean I am not keeping busy. I have been keep myself steady with the work. Refining and so far so good! Good conversations about how to deal with the virus and so on.
We continue to deal with everything in the best way we can. I am feeling over all good. TIRED… but good. Just trying to figure out how to get past another coming month. Can’t believe it’s almost October and the year is almost DONE! I have a few things I am looking forward tooooooo! Hopefully it all pans out and I am keeping my head up for now..
Took some time off to deflate from work. Sometime for myself to catch up on writing, reading, SLEEP, and just to spend time with the home “Girlfriend and pets”.. It’s never been easy to work at night but really just to avoid the public because it was starting to make me see red. It’s now Sunday morning and I don’t go back till Wednesday night but yea..
So far trying to catch up with my comic book reading which .. it’s been awhile and I have soooooooo much to get past. Harley Quinn and Batman I am catching up and OMG.. If anyone is under rated for writing… Comic book writers need to really really get more credit because the writing is soooooooo FU@#ING GOOD!Amazing!
Also watched Metallicas S&M 2 dvd which really what can I say about it that isn’t Obvious! It’s Metallica …amazing.. great set.. great music.. good times.. Also watched some films and started watching some new youtubers.. really taking time to just dig into stuff I like! I haven’t done it in awhile but it’s overall a good time.
CLEARLY writing hasn’t been easy for me recently cause my focus has sucked. Mostly just stress and dealing with people will scatter the mind which is exactly again.. the same reason I needed the time off. Not that sure what to write about right now but ..so far.. sooooooooooooo good… will post more probably later..
Building motivation and trying to set goals by dates are difficult to do alone. In groups I notice it becomes more about not wanting to let people down and less about self gratification. For the last seven or so years I have gone up and down on this hill with it. Some years I found that being active and taking time outside of work to improve both my mental and physical state are easy/difficult.
The big thing I notice is during the Winter it’s easier for me. I have the goal in that if I start something in September by June I should be at the goal I am reaching for. Nine months to get my mind into a place I want it to be and have my body follow. The tricky part about I come to find is that if I fall off I often find myself saying.. Next week.. You will do better.. Next Month.. I will say that nine out of ten times it never happens.
Time also passes so quickly as an adult that putting stuff off often takes its toll. I have been reading different research and trying to find ways around this. However I run into a great deal of sales pitches for products, myths, and just stuff that doesn’t work for me but might work for someone with a different set of problems.
What are my problems? I work at night…Now that’s something I like to do. Recently having worked during the day I have come to terms with that. However on a physical and mental question it is extremely draining. It adds the problems of me having to remember to take vitamins, having to remember to set very strict times on when I can and can not do particular things “workout, read, and research”. Setting up points of activity is a job in itself and while some people find planning easy. I find that once I start down the road it BECOMES easy.. it isn’t easy to just start it.
Gonna try some new methods. I also think the one thing that has been consistent with all of this is that it’s been repeated.. DO IT NOW.. Don’t wait.. Just do it NOW and eventually you will build a routine has been a common ground for this stuff. Waiting tends to be .. less productive.
For those of you that don’t know the name Kainless came from the lack of being able to use the name Kain in a online game I was playing sometime between 2006 -2007. If I couldn’t be kain.. I would be Kainless. Ha! Not a particularly exciting story but meh.. Just thought I would throw that out into the world.
I don’t get too personal with this site and I think at this point it’s limiting what I can write about on here. SO… From here on out 210 and beyond I am going to open up a bit more. Really make this a place about… ME! MEH THOUGHTS! AND SO ON!?…. Could it be dangerous? Sure.. WILL IT BE WILD! ABSOLUTELY! but I think in terms of expanding and perhaps even just releasing more posts.. It will be good for me.
So for some time I have wanted to start to stream videos of random observations of things around my home. Stories to collect about collectibles, Comics, Video Games and stuff of that sort. Perhaps a video here and there of work life, family stuff.. Just little things to spread some more of myself out. Like so many things I keep saying I will DO IT!! Yet instead I fall asleep.. Same with Comic book reading.. which I am so far behind .. as well as Video Games I said I would write about.. which I have little here and there…
More recently I have found a interest in watching Twitch Streamers. It’s funny to me because while I enjoy watching some of the games I am more interested in personality and conversations. I don’t go to very popular streams often. A few that I have gone to again are mostly just for conversation and to find some sort of interest..and Exploring. I have even updated my hosting to my channel on some of the people I watch… You can find that here..
Which is also the same place I will probably upload and livestream the observations from. In the past I have only used it to stream Video Games but like I said.. plan..to do …more
Also just as a side note.. I have a media TAB on the top of this page.. You can find links to more stuff on that..
It always starts with a white screen and black letters. Normally I just start to type and something will come to mind to write about. An Observation of some sort in that manor. Recently not much has been coming to mind that seems at all positive and I don’t think it’s just me. Let’s start with work first…
And yes this is going to get a bit more personal than I normally allow on here. I hate talking or even thinking at this point about the pandemic. Hell that is the last thing anyone wants to talk about or hear about at this point however even this place isn’t immune to it I guess so here I go.
When this started in March I knew it was going to be a big change with work. I expected less hours and people to be scared. Very little information was given and what information we had seemed to come from places we all would expect information to come from. News, Social Media, friends and family. People isolated because we didn’t know what to do. Part of me still thinks most people are in that box.
After a few weeks my hours changed and we dismissed my night shift entirely. I expected this because who the hell needs anything that badly at 4 AM ? Honestly at that point I was surprised by how careful and smart we all had been acting…..ACTING….Keyword. Everything was being cleaned, extra measures had been taken, all the smart stuff that I had been saying we should be doing TO START WITH .. people caught up on. I HAD HOPE!
After a few Months now.. Low and behold I am back on Night shifts and things are returning to normal but it seems best to quote with this next part one of my favorite movies ALIENS “Did IQs Just drop sharply while I was away?” As if none of it happened and like a magical cure has happened “Which it hasn’t” All of the people I expected to act like assholes are.. and to my surprise EVEN some MORE.
I step back for a moment..FOR YEARS now I have been writing these observations. YEARS.. I have been saying people are getting dumber. Our education has been such a lack of focus. Again.. No one talks about it short of “ohh the children need to go back to school in September”..which without a vaccine I think is a HUGE MISTAKE. So I said it here..
Still people argue over this mask stuff. Not surprised.. People again.. are dumb. I keep my mouth shut and I try to keep up hope. Hope that maybe it doesn’t have to get worse yet some how.. yea.. gonna end here..