So fate as it is would send me a message yet …again. A reminder of how far I have come and more so a reminder of how strong I actually am. I got sick last week “almost exactly a week from posting this”. I haven’t been this sick since I was a kid. A Fever, sore throat, running nose, head ach the works!. All too familiar the feeling from when I was a kid. It got so bad to the point I had to call out of work for 4 days. 2 from one job and 2 from the other. I’m still feeling the after affects but at this point I am halfway done with my antibiotics and I can say this morning I feel more like a human than a walking bunch of snot.
Life for me has always been a struggle when it came to my health. I was born very sick and I think that because of it I often push myself more than I probably should. Everything has to be a fight because I’m constantly thinking about how each moment needs to be progressed from second to second rather from day to day. I learned to say this is a good minute of breathing “accept it!” this is a bad headache “it will get better just push!”. These are things that now that I am older have become very natural for me.
I take it with me in everything I do. This was a good walk to work, a good meal to eat, a good conversation with family, or a bad time to interact with someone. Do I take any of it personally? Yes .. Probably more than I should..but it’s all building towards my life experience and I think it’s a big block in my personality. I WOULDN’T be me without it because it’s one of those things I know I will never have control over. No one wants to be sick. It just happens and we struggle with it.