An Introduction to something “Observation 168”

You’re born into this world with 3 musts. You must breath or die, you must feed or die, and last but not least you must sleep or die. Everything after the musts are decisions you make. Decisions that hold a center meter level of comfort or discomfort.

I say center meter because should I paint a picture of anything with this writing it is that of a meter with one side labeled comfortable and one uncomfortable. Perhaps to make it interesting one side is black with a fade to white with of course the center being gray.

Not Wrong or Right but comfortable and uncomfortable because I don’t agree with wrong or right just yet. Hell you are born not knowing ANYTHING but the feeling of comfortable and uncomfortable and I believe that is how this entire thing gets Complicated.

Life is from day one a series of events and sensations thrown into a point of view. If I was born into a room with cold air all around me chances are the feeling of hot air would change by sensation. The interpretation of just that concept alone sends millions of new ideas to the mind. Do I like cold air more or hot? Can breathing be comfortable?

I for one am a person who was born with the very idea of breathing alone was an effort. I simply couldn’t do it because I wasn’t ready to do it. So with some outside assistance,medication, and perhaps a level of stubborn willpower I managed to work on it. Imagine that thought for a moment. Born not even 5 seconds out of my mother and already work to be done.

What is work exactly? Can something so simple like breathing be work? Well the way I like to think it is effort = work. We are born into effort and discomfort so we work to make it comfortable. Once we are comfortable we are calm and we try to find bliss in that.

Bliss being the goal and drive for everything we do. Some of us take for granted just how simple that is. Really think about what the hell does a baby really want? It knows nothing and doesn’t speak for itself yet it has sensations and feelings that allow it to know what is comfortable and what isn’t.

Personally I believe that is the spot everything we say and do comes from. You are who you are because you can do what you can in a comfortable manor. Think about what we do for work and what we try to define as the right way of doing things and the wrong. Hell let’s make it simple and start with rule number one.

LIFE IS SACRED AND THE FIRST THING EVERY GOD CREATES THAT MATTERS. It’s why we are here…it’s existence. Now I won’t get religions but the point is we can all agree that If I am here and You are here that moving past here is not only inevitable but it must come on it’s own. After all present is all that matters now and future is all that will matter later.

CONFUSING AND COMPLICATED I KNOW!! WHAT THE HELL AM I REALLY TALKING ABOUT HERE? Stress.. dealing with it.. and an introduction to something..

I want to explain that lots of people seem to have this really strange concept of what is important in life. Some people even go as far as to say THIS MUST BE and THIS CAN’T BE. I want to start this by saying YOU DON’T GET TO SAY WHAT MUST BE EVER. You started this life the same exact way everyone else did. With the three MUSTS.


Everything else that you do is a decision based on how comfortable you want to be, Which in some forms has already been predetermined before birth/existence on a genetic and physical level. A person can not will themselves to be something entirely different without the concept of what that difference is first.

I can not want to be a man until I understand what a man is. Same can be said about Women. What is a man? What is a Woman? Concepts and ideas based on rules and thoughts that as a function only come to terms based on levels of comfort.

For example if I say a man is someone with a Penis who works 40 hours a week, loves his family, and supports himself. That becomes the definition of a set of rules made by an internal thought only to myself. The reflection of on society becomes the interpretation of comfortable and uncomfortable.

You might agree making that statement comfortable with you or you might disagree and want to sway from the discomfort in turn from a natural course try to make it MORE comfortable with YOU…NOT… me.. This is how the arguments start. Arguments which can in it’s most negative form lead to heightened states of tension, stress and even violence.

So let’s go into that because with those three you have an array of emotions that all have counter sides like comfortable and uncomfortable. If you are comfortable you are in a solid state of balance. Nothing is good and nothing is bad. You simply are and that is an impossible feeling to have considering you have sensation always attacking you.

Let’s say we remove sensation.. can it even be done? Even if you floated in a room with zero gravity and absolutely nothing happening the human body creates sensation for you. You hear the heart beat, the air enter your body, perhaps your stomach growl from the lack of food. The bones shift, decay and the hair on your head moves with the motion of a body that simply can’t stand still. Stillness perhaps also impossible to achieve in a living body.

Isolate the body and strange things start to happen. The mind goes into places it likely wouldn’t normally. Sensation again something that happens but is not A MUST in life. Nerves which provide sensation can be cut and have in some cases stopped.  Again.. a complication.

Observation 167

I have been working with the public since I believe it was two months after I graduated High School. My experience with work has always been based on routine. I learned that routine works for me “Even today” to be the best way to be progressive with it all. I was raised on the concept that if you work you deserve what you put into it.

My method for getting to the place I am at right now was simple. Always be available, Always follow the rules, Always say Yes if asked to do more work.  Now I knew that was going to be unfair to me because not everyone agrees with it. With experience I learned just because I do something doesn’t mean anyone has to do it the same way.

So pushing myself was always a selfish emotional battle for me.  Why push if no one is going to push with you? Why fight something that you know you will get no help with? I think that has always been the way I think and the only answer to both questions I could come up with was because I could do it. I know my abilities to push past what people expect of me “Even Today” are always going to turn out better.

If I say I can work for 8 hours and at the last hour someone says can you do another 8 hours I will say yes. While I will always find away to make it work I also maintain that perhaps pride for my own work ethic. Mentally it’s a battle because knowing I have no back up is the way I understand it.

However the standard for most jobs is to say YES we will help you if you need it but we just say that. We will say you can have this that and the other but don’t really expect it. This really does bring me to people.

People are selfish and that is just the nature of the beast. I don’t know if age has anything to do with that. Some of it I feel is personality working it’s structure around work ethic. I am not 100% sure how I feel about it but I know that thru experience it will never be fair.

Observation 166

The older I get the more I come to terms with the concept of time. I recall being 14 and sitting in a class room, Which I was supposed to be learning math but couldn’t for the life of me focus on anything other than HOW SLOWWWWWWW…TIME….WAS…Going…

Yet I look at my days now and I feel time moving fast. Hell I blinked it was February now I blink again and we are in April. The older I get the faster it goes and it makes for a very clear understanding of what IS important and what Isn’t.

It helps put me into a state of mind to make sure I am happy, healthy….ish, and over all in a positive state of mind. I find it sort of funny because in a day I notice so many negative points. Spending money…NEGATIVE…making money… POSITIVE.. sitting around…negative… going food shopping…Positive.. I think you get the point.


Observation 165

So I have spent the last week on vacation. It was the first time in over a year that I sat around my new apartment and did nothing BUT…

Catch up on reading comics, Play some Video games with the girlfriend, watched a couple of movies, Read Ready Player One for the Fourth Time.. and took a couple of baths because I love having a bathtub..

Now today is only Sunday and I still have all of tomorrow off and of course I am still spending a great of my time reading comics.. still have a big list to go over..

(Currently still reading)

(Half is what I managed to read during the week)

So far I feel the most REVITALIZED “If that’s a word”, I have felt in along time. So that pretty much Highlights my current state of mind. I am feeling very creative again and hopefully this will translate into Maybe be doing some artwork “which I haven’t done in years”.. Without question some more writing “Duh you are reading it now”… and a better state of mind for work.

Despite what I do for a living I am not really much of a people person. I am very good at my job but’s a job and really I think far to many people think my personality is reflected by it. IT’S NOT! I get paid to be the person I am at work and the person I am outside of work I can say without question is far more reflective than I am allowed to be. That’s not to say I am not a charming person all around but I do feel like it takes a great deal of mental exercise to get past even little things.

Regardless it’s good and I feel better because of it. Currently I am thinking about Spring which is right around the corner. Work will start to pick up as it does after the Winter. I am thinking a great deal about what I want to push more in terms of work and over all relationships with family and friends. I feel like I really need to get back into the gym to pick up my energy. Lots of things I WANT to get going on as soon as .. TOMORROW.. Over all my state of mind is simple.

Observation being.. People need time to themselves. Need time to reboot and assess life. I feel like not enough people get the chance to do that. Weekends are nice or days off for that matter but needing time to really get to WHAT YOU WANT.. is important. I have done that.. some of you should think about doing it.. and that is what I am currently about to do now.. RESTART..

Observation 164

I am a big fan of Horror both in film and novels. I am also a big fan of Video games like Doom, Mortal Kombat, God of War, Hatred, etc.. More Recently “since about 2007 very little dabbling before that” I have even started to collect comic books. I can also say WITHOUT QUESTION I am the least violent person you will ever meet.

My General demeanor around people is often very chill as a matter fact. I love conversation and I am a very welcoming person to talk with. My taste into violent and morbid things really has NOTHING to do with my actions towards people and more to do with the why.  I have always been the type of person who looks scary but upon talking to me you learn very quickly I am a giant Jiggly puff!

Now I bring all this up because I grew up during the 90’s and that was a time of great debate on Media. All things I enjoy became this hub for how or can it effect ME as a growing young person. Would all that violence turn me into a violent person? Truth be told I grew up in Brooklyn, NY and I have always managed to avoid violence. If I am being really truthful with myself I probably feel more violent towards adults my age now than I ever felt as a young person but I can tell you that is because I don’t understand how adults MY AGE.. think as oppose to anything violent I watched ” I have yet to kill anyone or hurt anyone with violence still” .

As a matter a fact I will go even further with that and say as a person who has been put into many situations I COULDN’T GRASP or Understand. I do believe that playing a few rounds of Doom probably kept me from pulling my own hair out.  Why? The escape and my own grasp on reality is the answer. I have always known that we have two very different types of actions in life. The enjoyment of FICTION and the actions of REALITY are different things. APPLES…AND ORANGES.. both food.. but not the same..

Again I surround myself with this morbid stuff. Have I ever in the past hurt myself or anyone? That is a big 100% NO. Hell do I even have a grasp on real violence in the world? The best answer I can give to that is that ONCE I went shooting with my brother “at a shooting range” and even after all the times I fired a weapon in a video game I can say shooting a weapon in real life.. VERY VERY VERY DIFFERENT! NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE SAME!

It’s sort of like saying I built a house in the sims so I can build a house in REAL LIFE.. YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR SKULL TO THINK THAT TRUE! The fact that we are ONCE AGAIN .. in 2018 going to get back into this debate is insane. I would also like to be very clear about something while on the topic of weapons.

I DO believe people should be allowed to own whatever you want. Be it a home full of weapons, cats, dogs, dildos…Whatever! If you are in the UNITED STATE OF AMERICA you have the freedom to do that.  However I think if you are saying you are following the 2nd amendment as an excuse for WHY you have that weapon. YOU ARE DELUSIONAL and here is why.

If you really believe that owning a machine gun, or let’s REALLY PUSH IT..  A rocket launcher.. or lets say the town you live in has every home FULL of GUNS from block to block. You are Delusional to think that you can stop the united state Government from taking that stuff away from you. We are talking about the United State Government here.. The Police, Fire Department, Military and whatever number of branches below that.  If you seriously think you could stop all of that with the 100 guns you have..

Billions of dollars are given to support our troops. Billions in research on making bigger better ways of making it work and you seriously think that having a gun will stop all that? I have a unicorn in my kitchen right now that can take you on a ride if you want to believe it. People need to get a grip on themselves.

Now that again isn’t to say you shouldn’t own a gun. YOU SHOULD.. Protect yourself from Crime. Good on you but do not think for a second that you can ever hold the 2nd amendment up and say my four fathers wanted me to protect myself from Government because that idea has been lost a long time ago once we started organized groups that Government gets paid for BY YOU to deal with.

This all hurts my head to think about…puff

Observation 163

So a great deal has happened in the last two weeks that really I probably should explain. First off I wasn’t 100% sure I was moving till 2 weeks ago. I didn’t post anything or say anything to anyone about it because I simply don’t do that sort of thing unless I am 100%. I only signed the lease and what not last week so everything happened quickly. I have been working my ass off and short of packing everything it’s been hectic.

I had taxes to think about which are done, moving, work, and currently thinking about this site which has now become very SIMPLE… and easy to understand I can say with a full heart I am happy with everything. I will also note that the weather hasn’t made anything easy. Everything is covered in ICE Right now.. For a guy who walks all over the place it is good and it sucks at the same time.

So having a calm mind to write is only now becoming a thing.  With the move and the start of the new year I have been thinking about the future. I think it’s something I normally start doing in November of every year. This year in particular some lights have been turned on in my mind which will require big steps. Life changing steps perhaps and I think I am finally in a place to make most of it all happen.

As a person who over thinks naturally thoughts like this come and go but I feel like since I am about to be 35 this year and they say your life changes every 7 years..

7..14..21..28..35… I do believe that a great many things should happen.  I won’t say I am pushing for anything but I will say that concepts in my head are being designed. Perhaps lots of brainstorming… thoughts…. we will see how it all goes!

Observation 160

I am not even sure how to start this. My mind right now is focused on Education. The Class room more specifically in terms of how it works.  You take an average size of 15 – 25 students, put them in a room and ask some questions about a specific topic. The focus of the room should be rotated around FACTS and Theory.

It requires detailed reason for the main question of WHY? Why is the sky blue? What are we made of? How do you pronounce this? Again…all the FACTS. Explanations for questions that WILL and or CAN come up during the experience of life.

Now my real question here is why a common sense class doesn’t come into the planning of any persons life? I mean teaching people basic things I feel would help benefit everyone. What do I think people should know?

*Organization – being able to deal with one problem at a time in an organized and Prioritized way. Example.. To get a job you need to take the following steps.. A. Have a Resume B. Present yourself well C. Be on time D. Understand what you are signing up for.

Again…basic stuff.

*Basic Survival – How to make basic food, “Cereal, Eggs, Canned Soup, sandwiches” How to use a Gas Pump, How Credit Cards and Currency works, Basic Hygiene, Methods on dealing with Stress, Bills and Taxes “not so much economy but basic stuff like paying Rent, water/electric bills how to sign a check and understanding what is being paid for.”

*How to hold a conversation – Now this ranges in a few different ways but a person should be capable to walk out of school and at the very least BE SMART ENOUGH TO ORDER SOMETHING FROM A FAST FOOD CHAIN WITHOUT HOLDING UP A LINE.

*BASIC LAW – I see this come up a great deal in just every day living. Google is not A FRIEND of TRUE FACT AND WRITTEN LAW. Lots of bullshit out and about and I feel people NEED TO READ THE ACTUAL DOCUMENTS on it.. at the very basic level of .. DON’T STEAL SHIT, DON’T HIT PEOPLE, AND DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE …hehe

Health and Education is an odd thing because some places get it right. While others miss entire large sections of what is true and isn’t. TRUE = FACT = PROVEN TO BE UNDENIABLE…without the shadow of a doubt… again…


Maybe it’s just me


Observation 159

A big part of me wants to jump off social media. The main reason I keep my Facebook page is cause it gives me access to family I don’t normally get to chit chat with. Honestly I get more out of twitter in terms of news and access to announcements on bands/comics/things I like on that platform. However everything is connected to Facebook so for that reason alone I suppose myself and really others must have one.

I often think about what my life would be like without that nonsense. Would it really change that much? I mean THIS website is way more about me anyway and if anyone wanted to contact me here it wouldn’t be so difficult. Hell the e-mail address is on the TOP of this page. I don’t even know if people know how to e-mail anymore…

Plus I have a million other ways to access people thru Skype, Discord, SL, Steam Chat, Twitter chat “yes that is a thing”, etc… I just don’t see the reason to keep FACEBOOK up.. something about it ..really just annoys the shit out of me.. hmmm…this might lend to something?…mmm

Observation 157

Communication I have always believed is the one vital point to creating a better relationship with anyone or anything for that matter. While personality is what makes a person different, conversations about who,why, and how are always the solution to finding what makes us the same. One of the greatest parts of being born in Brooklyn, N.Y. was the diversity.

A person could walk down one block and see a completely different set of families living life with it’s culture, religious belief, and so on. This created a mixing pot for pretty much everyone. The more people that arrived the more everyone was able to learn. However this didn’t work so well because like everything disagreements would rise.

An educated person can talk to one another without violence. An educated person can also say “I don’t agree” and walk away without feeling any internal or moral harm. What I have learned being here on this trip to India is that communication is a VITAL part of what makes everything work.

You have communities here built on family ideas that one person is going to know more about a subject than another person based on interest. So let’s say I have a bigger interest in cars. I would spread that information to the next person I met and if the time came that the next person had an issue with cars…guess who they would come too? ME!

It’s a spread of knowledge and interest that makes it all work. Business relationships are built on that aspect as well. Loyal customers come from the bases that the products they produce are good and work for whatever the need. So again if I produce something good or great for that matter naturally I will spread word in my community and that works.

One of the biggest problems I think that have been highlighted is advertisements. Of course advertisements are used here as well but what will brings anyone to anything here is word of mouth. I had the best Ice Cream I have ever had here. Hearing that from someone who knows good and bad Ice Cream will quickly best a person to interest. “ALSO I REALLY DID HAVE THE BEST ICE CREAM HERE! x)”

As Americans we are free to do as we please and for the most part I feel like we focus on the wrong things. We avoid conflicts which creates drama which in the end causes more problems. Anything built up in such a way is always negative and can eventually consume a person to the point of irrational action.

We are short tempered and in such a hurry to do nothing that we over see it all the time. We make appointments and don’t plan well so we get angry should we miss it. I am finding it more and more interesting how we take things that aren’t really that important and force it all to be in the category of OMG IT NEEDS TO BE DONE RIGHT NOW!!

Personally I have always wanted peace of mind. I have always faced my problems without a care for how long something took to get it done. I was rational about it and calm. Some people live for that drama and think it makes life more interesting. However the same people are never happy and always have complaints that make ZERO SENSE TO ME.

I think this is a subject that can be dived into more at a later time. 🙂

Observation 156

The Clock on my computer says it’s Monday at 8 pm.. The actual time “For me” is more like 6 am on Tuesday cause I am currently 18 hours from home. I was invited by my cousin to join him on his wedding day in the Country of India. I took a 12 hour flight with a 3 hour lay over to Dubai and another 3 hour flight to Ahmadabad.

The flight didn’t really affect me to much short of making me sleep for more hours than I am used to. On day one I woke up and was greeted to a shopping trip thru the “older” part of the city. This was on a Sunday and from what I understand no traffic rules are in place. I got on the back of a motorbike and off we went.

The first thing I noticed while on the ride was how ordered the chaos was. Cars moving back and forth, side to side, and stopping and going..yet no one crashed. No traffic lights no one screaming at each other. Just lots of horns and people patiently getting from place to place. We rode for about 20 minutes and at every intersection it felt like it shouldn’t work in terms of driving but somehow it did. Again order…in the Chaos.

This raised so many questions for me… how does it work? Why? The best answer I managed to get was that people simply have been doing it this way for a long time and accidents DID happen but it was just the normal way of doing things.

Naturally this made me think of my parents driving and how stressed they can get while on the roads in America. I think my mother would have a heart attack here just from that. patients is what made it work and I should note that the population here is 10 to 1 in terms of any place I have been before.

So the best way I can really describe it is driving in Manhatten on a Saturday with ZERO traffic rules. It sounds like it’s impossible to work yet yea…it does.

The second thing I noticed was the architect of the city around me. Much like Manhattan it was full of stores and side road businesses. Shops, Hotels,and Restaurants all over the place. The weather sort of like Florida with a hot and humid feel to it.

Dogs and Cows mixed into people running around like business had to start and it sure did. We arrived at a street rowed with motorbikes and parked. We walked down one street and upon looking at anyone standing in front of a store you were immediately welcomed to come inside..

I must have seen at least 20 people tell me “Come in come in I have what you want”. Of course none of this was in English “most of the time” and I learned from being in New York to just ignore the words and get to our destination.

I was with my cousins Brother in law “Soon to be” and he explained to me that the area we went to was a clothing district. He had some clothing he had to pick up for the wedding and so we did that. The entire area was covered in stores full of both men and women fashion. You could find anything you wanted here from shoes, to pants, shirts, and so on you name it. The people WELCOMED you to come and look.

By far the most interesting thing about this place was how everything was sold. Unlike American business here it is actually an art to compromise exactly that. It’s business and prices could be talked down. I witnessed my cousins “again soon to be” Father in law negotiate the price of my cousins tuxedo which had to be hand made because all the seller showed us was some styles and the cloth the seller wanted to use to make it.

Again this wasn’t in English but from what I could tell he managed to buy a 400$ dollar tuxedo for 99$. We almost walked out of the place empty handed 3 times but every time we did the man insisted we come back and talk about what could be done to make the transaction.

Again it was a discussion and that was how everything managed to get sold or bought here. The value of an item sold was that of the seller not a corporation and it could be at times compromised. So just because I bought something for 5$ didn’t mean that it couldn’t be talked down to 1$.

I think business is a universal thing people do. People who have the gift of doing it right show a talent for quality and value.  Probably something I should learn more about in the future.

Naturally with my point of view on everything I asked more questions. How does this work? What is the crime like here? How is it possible? I was given the answer that because it’s a dry state “NO ALCOHOL” Crime was extremely low. People here didn’t do drugs or steal because it was illegal and it just didn’t happen. The state also doesn’t have police but it does have enforcers from the military.

I asked again.. so no crime cause no one drank or did drugs? I was given that best explanation that it was mostly traditions that made it work and because people here communicated. I know know me..and whatever family members I had you also got to know. So personality had a big part of how it worked also.

You didn’t do bad things because it someone was bound to find out and it would reflect poorly on you. Reflecting poorly on personality also reflected on how people viewed what type of person you are. It makes sense I am sure it deserves a better explanation but I can only say so much. I am sure I will say more later…still have so much more time here..