Nothing is Hard to me. Even at my worst point nothing seemed impossible. Overwhelming maybe but I have always been clear on understanding that if something needed to be done it would be and if I had to learn something I would have the chance to take my time with it. Lessons happen every single day so saying something is hard to do just meant admitting it was going to take more time than I expected to complete it.
School for example took me longer to complete because I thought I had better things to do. I always spent my time learning what I wanted to learn even if it meant skipping classes that I felt weren’t important (Which really they probably at the time had been).
I have always remained constant with the idea I’m doing the best I can. If it wasn’t enough for anyone really I chalked it down to not being my problem. Seconds count and if someone felt I was being lazy or inconsistent with anything it was again probably because I felt it wasn’t that important. Does it make me irresponsible… probably at times and I will be the first to admit it. I have had plenty of things I said I would commit to but didn’t because I felt my time was better doing something else. Being able to admit fault is easy for me when I know the why to the situation which is also by default the most annoying thing about me.
i have been told countless times by ex girlfriends, my parents, coworkers that my ability to admit I’m wrong sucks. It’s also because of my inability to stop overthinking that this is the reason it happens. I think about every possible outcome and when something happens that isn’t within reason or outta left field of course I won’t admit that. It’s pride that causes this and it’s pride that is a fault of mine.