Observation 174

End of the year is almost here! I didn’t make it to 200! I did try!! But my mind simply wasn’t in it this year. Been working hard at work and because of that sleeping has become a thing I seem to be doing.  Sundays have been a short time of my week that I can relax. I HAVE started to stream on youtube! Been playing some Tetris Effect, Overwatch, Doom “Of Course!” You can find all that nonsense under the Media tab at the top..or search Kabal610 on Youtube..You can find it!

Most of the streams Feature myself.. My brother “Shawn”.. my cousin ” Chris” my besty “Ian”..and from time to time other co workers and naturally my girlfriend “Megan”.. It’s what I do to relax.. I did buy a Nintendo Switch recently also and it’s fun!! Naturally I have Doom on it and it amazes me how good it runs! Perfect so far.. but I will write more about that on my games page when I get the chance.. Currently I am playing Darksiders 3, Smash Brother Ultimate, and a few other games also.. but that’s in-between time ..

I have come to the conclusion that I need to find more time to relax.. NOT SLEEP… but actually relax my mind from everything going on around me.  So naturally I fall back into video games and reading comics which I am forcing myself to do now. I haven’t been hitting the gym much… I SHOULD BE ..AND PLAN TO GET BACK ON THAT.. but with it being December..and cold…and yea….laziness….bad…blah…

I haven’t spoken much about my personal life on here in awhile which is kinda funny cause this is all supposed to be an OBSERVATIONAL blog/thing… Life has been for the most part a steady line. Not great..not bad.. but steady.. I got most of my Christmas shopping done..and for the most part have been in a decent head space I guess.. This really isn’t much of a post at this point …just trying to filter out …where I am?

 

 

Observation 162

Recently I have come to some interesting conclusions/Observations about my life. Currently at only the young age of 34 I am starting to notice a few things are happening that I either NEVER noticed.. or just didn’t observe.

From a very real human look at myself in the mirror I can see for the first time signs of aging. Now I am sure that statement alone raises some questions on WHAT… you never noticed that? Of course I noticed it before but NOW as opposed to before I notice things happening on the older state of my life. Gray hair, Wrinkles, can’t eat this…can’t eat that.. Little things that show a lack of youth and perhaps a bit of break down as aging does.

Now by no means do I believe I am old. Hell I’ll be 80 and I won’t believe I am old but I do notice that things I could get away before I can’t now. I could at the age of 17 eat 3 gallons of Ice cream a day and not gain weight.. Today I look at Ice cream and add 5 pounds.  I notice my moods are far better today as opposed to 17 but that doesn’t come without the fact that I do DWELL on things more now. Which means I have to make a conscious decision to raise my moods.

Now I have always been good at keeping myself in those spaces. I surround myself with good. My girlfriend, my family, my friends and my heart is always in the right place. I do my best at everything and I never once have ever put myself into a position that I didn’t control or overthink. It’s simply always been my nature.

Yet with coming back to aging I notice that if I don’t workout or if I don’t stay active for long periods of time it does effect my mood in a negative state. So I go to the gym.. Not as much as I would like but I go to raise my mood and I go to try to maintain my health which at this point I can honestly say I am as healthy as I can be.

My state of mind on everything is always about Progress. I have done well at work, tried my best to keep relationships even, and for the most part have very little to complain about. During the winter I sleep more just like everyone but I also fight the good fight with the punches as they approach.

I look forward to the future and at this point I know great changes are coming. Dusk.. and it’s embrace!