observation 191

The seasons change and with it my mind gets older and older still. Recently I have been feeling this really uneasy tightness in my back that isn’t a physical thing. It’s hard to explain but the best I can do to describe it is by example.

You know that feeling before you go to the dentist or before you ride a roller coaster.You put your mind into this state of possibility of all the bad things that could happen. Ya.. that’s the feeling I have been having lately only for NO REASON AT ALL.. Doesn’t help either that for the last 2 weeks I have been having horrible Nightmares to follow it also. It’s probably all linked but who can really say. I don’t think it’s affected my work or anything like that but it’s an uneasy feeling and it’s keeping me on a tight edgy sorta perception of things around me.

Short of that everything is pretty much the same. Work is slowing down because the weather is changing. I personally love the cold because it allows me more time to get my work done, Catch up on reading, and plan for the coming year. I have already repeated that I won’t be buying any new video games in 2020 so as to catch up on the list of games I already OWN that I can finish. Already I have 40 + games lined up that I need to finish going as far back as ps3 and wii. It will be fun to do and hopefully I get it all done by the end of the year. Also I should note that just because I won’t be buying any new games next year does not mean I haven’t pre ordered stuff that won’t arrive till next year “Like Doom Eternal, Last of Us 2 and CyberPunk”… Short of that small list I don’t expect much to come of next year and I hope to dramatically lower my debt.

You wouldn’t think it but I am looking forward to 2020. Hell I am looking forward to November and December for that matter. The cold is creeping in and I LOVE IT!! The silence of the winter will be here soon and I love how this area just Stops. Something about it is just calming and soothing to my mind. I look forward to it!

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