I feel like I’m standing in front of a chair that normally I’m sitting in. I want to sit down and be comfortable but I can’t because everything else around the chair are variations of things that can be. Some are good things and some are very very bad. I think crazy people tend to tap into those bad things while good people only dabble in those things. Things like drugs, cheating, drinking all cater I think to the bad because nothing productive comes from them. Only destructive things.
The good things are like Cleaning, Going to work, being productive and trying to survive. The bad I think are the things we should salt throughout the day. Like waiting to take out the trash.. You know it needs to be done but you wait because it doesn’t need to be done RIGHT NOW. Something like having a small drink isn’t bad. Smoking little isn’t bad.. If it releases the pressure from the day I think that it can be very productive.
I think that is the probably with most people that they release the pressure and than come to find comfort in doing it too much. That can be a life I have no interest in. It’s less complicated yes but it’s also not what I’m trying to do here. This branch is more about my daughter, my family, my work on this site. Maybe one day writing a book. who knows maybe this will become a book in itself. We will see what happens.
Yet for now I THINK this place is one of peace and it has been for awhile. I’m comfortable here because I know I’m not doing anything bad or good just letting it all out. For example today I tried to sign up for a psychologist appointment but came to find it would cost wayy more than I have. Again that million dollar idea preventing me from sorting out this stuff. It can’t be that hard yet here we are trying again..