Relationships are both the best and worst things a person can get involved with. It requires several prerequisite before even beginning one. Personally I’m a slow paced person so learning about those was actually one hard lesson after another. Of course with that you have levels of relationships.
Ranging from familiar, acquaintance, family, co worker, friend, lover, friend with benefits and of course enemies. The order of this is can vary depending on the person. Personally I’m nice to everyone until they give me reason not to be and then I’m unforgiving. In my life I can think of only 3 people whom I have ever given second chances to and I did that because either I was sleeping with them or because I understood the reason why the mistake was made. I don’t lie to people unless I know I’m being lied too. I don’t like drama but I do my best to understand it cause it’s going to happen.
Everyone has motivation for something so when it comes to building a relationship it’s a great deal of saying to ones self this is acceptable and this is not. Again this varys from person to person. I never found drinking or drugs attractive. Did I go thru a self destructive stage of my life that involved a great deal of drinking. Yes! Have I ever done drugs that I knew would change the way I think. Yes! However experience has taught me a couple of things that I have come to expect.
First responsibility is and always will be the number one thing I accept is always MY FAULT no matter the state of mind I am in. I am always the first one to take the first step so it’s important to understand that no matter what you do in life in your control or not you took that first step and you are responsible for whatever happens after that. So for example if I drink 1 drink or 15 and black out and say or do something after that I don’t remember doing. That’s still me taking the drink and accepting whatever may come. I hate hate hate people who take that first drink and use it as an excuse for being stupid. It’s no one’s fault but your own you ended up on the floor of a nightclub with pink fuZzy balloons one your face!
Second thing time management has become a thing I notice I’m extremely good with but have noticed some people aren’t. Now I will forgive someone being late for something IF they make it clear they are going to be late. In the 90s I was more forgiving for it because we didn’t have cell phones. Now if you can’t text, email, or do something to announce plans have changed that’s on you and you better have a good reason for not keeping to a plan.
Third thing is something I still struggle with. Putting someone else’s shoes on. Understand that IQs aren’t the same, chemistry works different for men and women. Everyone has issues and that my understanding of everything isn’t absolute. While true I make up what I will accept I also need to be less stubborn about understanding the grounds we walk on are often different. I have been with my wife for over 16 years and even today we fight because of this very reason.
Also fight is a strong word for something we might call disagreement, argument or misunderstanding. I have never actually gotten into a fight with my wife but of course we had heated disagreements. Which is bound to happen between anyone who has lived in the same house for so many years. Understand age, environment, chemistry is a complicated thing for ones self let alone trying to get two people to make it work. Yet if it does work it can be sooooo worth it.
I’m the happiest I have ever been because of this stuff but again I can go on for days about it.