From time to time I fall deep into the past. I remember places and people whom I haven’t thought about in Year’s. For example when I was 17 I met a girl who would change my view on many things by explaining to me her own interest. She knew a great deal about underground music, social computer languages, how to get things for free. The types of music and styles I wanted to incorporate into my life and all that jazz a 17 year old eats up at that age. While we got close eventually I ended it because of self esteem problems I had. She felt like she was beyond my ability to keep up with. Like she was better off without me.
Of course at some point that changed and I managed to learn more about myself and somehow I became who I am today. My confidence is a million times better but really I think back to that person and while I enjoyed who I was I am happier today with who I am. What happened to the girl? Years would pass and we drifted apart. I only spoke to her once again maybe 15 years ago and the conversation was less than interesting and her life became boring and I suppose not even close to what I had pictured for her. I find that funny now how I had hopes for so many people and yet most of them either didn’t make it or became so adjusted to life that it seems weird now. It’s funny how great you think something is and how normal things eventually become.
From all those years I think now maybe I talk to 3 people. 25 years across time and it really does feel like an entirely different place.