Observation 205

So far 2020 has been a lesson on my fears. Perhaps things have been far to good for my liking and this is just a touch of reality that was needed for me. I build a routine on my life and how things are supposed to go.

Wake up, work, do stuff, sleep and repeat

Yet what I have come to understand recently is that fear comes in two different categories. Fearing something cause you have a bases for it and fear something because you don’t know what will happen. The first one started this year with me.

I Started the year with the fear of my health. Having to go to the doctors for blood work. Now this doesn’t sound like anything serious at all but the lesson came regardless. The last two times I gave blood I almost passed out and fainted. For anyone who has ever done that or experienced it they can tell you IT SUCKS!!.. Also this is something new that my body does because either I was dehydrated the last two times I went or cause I hadn’t eaten and gotten enough sleep.

So this last time I learned from the fear.. SLEEP!! EAT!! DRINK LOTS OF WATER BEFORE GIVING BLAH… DUH!

That felt more like a internal thing and honestly looking back on it now much of that had to do with my health. This also brings us to the current state of fear I have. Which funny enough has to do my health also. However this has more to do with outside influence and less to do with experience.

Now at this point i’m not going to say the word everyone is talking about right because frankly i’m sick of hearing about it. However I will say it could potentially affect my lungs which has been in the past a problem I was born with. If I think about it now I am 100% sure I will have to face that problem again in the future maybe some 50 or 40 years down the line but still.. DOWN THE LINE…

I would rather not think about it right now. Yet it does hover around me the idea that somethings a person simply can’t change. Mortality isn’t something I really thought about at all during the ages of 1-27. Something changed after I turned 27 and it hit me pretty hard with a reality that things HAD TO CHANGE.

Eating habits, Looking after my activities, Routines and so on all became things I had to actually become self aware of. Which is kinda strange because before that it was eating Reeses cups and riding a bike to see my friends in Brooklyn.

Now it’s Leafy Greens, Yogurts, Fruits, Meats “In moderation” and MAYBE a Reeses cup once a month if I am feeling OH SO RISKY!!… It’s kinda odd how things happen but I guess that’s just life. The good, the bad and the between you are supposed to fall into.

I also must say I find it very interesting how during everything I have just now started to notice how Social Media has actually taken a part of my life. Don’t get me wrong I love twitter, Facbook “it helps connect my family”, and so on but yea.. Very strange that I never really even noticed how it happened. Normally I just observe things I enjoy.. Comics, Music, Video Games, NAKED LADIES AND SO ON!!! So yea the idea that while following all that I have some how become so aware of the world outside my door has me at a interesting pass I guess…

Perhaps a future Topic… Moderation needs to come to play with that also..